Ten Little Things

What You Can Do If You Feel Lack Of Support

A inspirational sign

At some point, everyone feels like they aren’t getting enough support. Whether it’s support from their friends, from their family, or from someone whose opinion really, really counts. This can be a devastating feeling.

These are ten little things you can do if you feel lack of support will not only help you achieve more and feel better, but can also help you communicate your needs and goals better.

1) Expand your support network.

Our support networks are one of the most important pieces to feeling like we can make it through everything. It can be a lonely road supporting an individual with disabilities. Make a list of who is in your network and see if there is room to expand it. Support networks can include friends, family, coworkers, professionals, and resource places.

2) Sharpen your own coping skills.

There are many courses free of charge to help us all learn to cope with the stresses of life. Eventbrite has numerous available events from all over the place. Many of them are hosted through resource centers such as Children's Link, Inclusion Alberta and the Government of Alberta. You can filter them based keywords and follow the places that are making them available for future events.

3) Try keeping a journal.

Sometimes all we need to do is let out how we feel, not to anyone in particular but just so we are not keeping it bottled up. A journal allows you to be one hundred percent honest in how you feel without feeling guilty. Try just once a week to start and before you know it you could be feeling better and doing it everyday.

4) Analyze the reason you don’t feel supported.

Most people have pretty rigid conceptual models of what can and cannot be done, and they tend to look at anything that crosses these boundaries askance. Are you trying to do something so far out of the ordinary that most people cannot comprehend it? Or are you simply asking for too much from the people around you? You can’t expect everyone else to take care of your business while you chase a dream. If you’re trying to do this, then you need to start giving back before you can expect any support in return.

5) Keep it simple.

Simplifying what you do in a day, week, or month can make a huge difference. As caregivers we always feel like we have to do it all, everyday, and all at once, the fact is we are human too. We need to take less off our plates where possible and uncomplicate how we go about through our lives.

6) Listen to what you’re told.

It’s entirely possible that you already have the information you need to make a decision, but you aren’t listening because it’s contrary to what you want to accomplish. If enough people tell you the same thing, it’s time to stop and mull it over. Chances are, they are speaking from experience that they are trying to help you benefit from.

7) Ask yourself if your goal is really attainable.

Having goals is a great way to focus on future needs, accomplishments and endeavors but are yours attainable? Looking at your goals and adjusting them does not mean you won't get to where you want to be, it means you are taking into account where you are now. It is normal to adjust as you go through life, do not put too much pressure on yourself all at once.

8) Try to understand why they don’t support you.

Sometimes people say one thing, only to have someone hear something entirely different. This is where establishing a dialogue comes in. Getting to understand where the other person is coming from is a key factor in learning what you can do to obtain their support. This requires some empathy and maybe even a little salesmanship, but it’s well worth it in the end, and will strengthen your relationship, too.

9) Ask yourself what you would tell you if you were them.

One of the most difficult things to admit is that we all sometimes give good advice, but are rubbish about taking it. Put yourself in the other person’s position and ask yourself, “If I saw So-and-so doing this, would I support him/her or warn against it?” This may not be a fun way to understand others, but it can help you see the issue from the other side.

10) Change your approach, your goals, your behavior, or all three.

If your goal is set too high for even gods to achieve reasonably, or if you demand support and assistance instead of asking for it, it is past time to make some changes. People appreciate being asked for help, but no one likes to have their help simply assumed. Understanding how, when, and who to approach for help is important to getting the support you need to achieve your goals!